“Hard times make you bitter or make you more compassionate.”- Jewel



Go ahead and ignore me. Yeah I know I smell, but you would too if you slept outside all night on the concrete floor. Judge me if you want. You could be me and once upon a time I used to be you. I’m watching all you guys walk around with your heads up your ass on your little cell phones. Go ahead and avoid me. Before I lost my family I would walk around with my noise to the sky just like you. I had a good job before all of this. I wore nice suits and people treated me better. They held the door when I walked behind them, the women didn’t clutch their bag when I walked towards them like they do now. It’s getting cold out here and I’m glad I found this hat on the side of the road last night. I can’t believe I’m here with a sign in my hand hoping I get enough change to buy me a drink. Look at this asshole park his Mercedes right in front of my spot. I remember having an all white BMW with red interior. Damn that car was smooth. I could still feel the breeze smacking my face as I drove by with the top down. Now instead of parking a car I’m parking a cart. A shopping cart full of stuff I found. It isn’t much but it’s still my stuff. It gets me by. “Hey buddy can you spare me some change?” I guess not. I must be invisible out here. I once had a voice. When I spoke people listened. I was the top lawyer in my firm and nobody could close like me. Cochran didn’t have shit on me. I lived the fast life. That job drained me. I neglected my family and all I cared about was money, gambling and drinking my pain away.

I really wish this lady a few feet away from me would stop arguing with whoever is on the other line or move away. I mean I believe in freedom of speech but I’m trying to work here and she’s distracting me. You won’t believe how many conversations I’ve overheard. I remember those days when I would argue with my wife before she passed away. I thought I knew it all. I don’t argue much anymore these days because people usually are too scared to speak to me. There was this one person the other day who did say something to me when I asked him for some change. He said “God bless you” and I wanted to laugh, Instead I replied; “I don’t feel very blessed right now but thanks anyway”.  People these days and their silly religion. I grew up a God fearing man. I wanted to believe someone up there in the blue sky was watching over me. If that was true I wouldn’t be in this damn position. Who am I kidding, I did this to myself.

It’s starting to get crowded around here so I got to keep moving. I began walking to my usual spot I set up and call my home, which was basically a few boxes forged together under the bridge. I noticed two guys arguing in the ally as I approached and then a loud shot rang in the air. I really don’t need this shit tonight. I stood still as one guy goes through the other guys pockets and then runs off. Now that the coast is clear I can continue to walk. I just want to get home. The guy on the floor looks up at me and says “help me!”, I looked down at him then looked away. He repeats it this time but adds “please, I don’t want to die here”. I turned to him and in my mind, I thought about all the times I looked up and asked for help but only to be ignored. This was my turn. My turn to pay the universe back for how she screwed me over. This time I get the last laugh. I continued to walk away then I remembered what it’s like to feel alone like you do on this floor right now. You must feel helpless. I took a deep breath and stopped walking. Something hit me as I looked at him laying there in pain. I realized in that very moment with no one around that he was just like me.


I hope you enjoyed my story and if so leave a comment below and tell me what you think.